Big Girls Treat Their Valentines Better!
Valentine’s Day is the bane of some men’s existence. It’s always a challenge to outdo what was done the previous year without breaking the bank. Candy and flowers don’t seem to do the trick anymore. So what’s a guy to do? Get yourself a big girl! They treat their valentines better.
I know there’s doubt in your mind, and my skinny sisters are up in arms by that statement, but some truths cannot be denied. You don’t believe me? I’ll prove it to you.
For Starters… Skinny women don’t want a box of chocolates unless they’re nonfat, low- fat, sugar-free—you get the point. And what in the world would they do with a teddy bear, unless it was a charm attached to a Tiffany’s bracelet? Bring a big girl a box of chocolates, and you have a friend for life. Jewelry’s good, too, but big girl’s appreciate the little things. It’s not because she feels she isn’t worth more; it’s because she is appreciative of what life sends her way.
Dinner Is Served… Skinny women are always very conscious of their diets. A full meal consists of rabbit food, a small portion of protein, and a diet beverage. However, a grown man cannot live by lettuce alone. I would have said bread, but skinny women are terrified of carbs. Plus-size women don’t eat out much, because most are great cooks. They would much rather cook for you, and will serve you a dinner fit for a king. The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, isn’t it? Her home cooking is also easy on your pockets, so it’s a win-win situation.
Now For Dessert… Skinny women are probably good lovers. They’re flexible, unrestricted, and hankering for pleasure. They want to satisfy you, but their satisfaction is usually first and foremost. Be careful, because rubbing bone against bone is very painful (so I’ve heard). With a big girl, you get more cushion for the pushin’. You also get a woman who is adventurous and enthusiastic. Big girls are sexually dominant, and master the nuances of pleasuring a man—anything to take the focus away from those breath-restricting positions we “tap out” from.
Historically, Valentine’s Day revolved around what the man can do for the woman (or any man/woman variation depending upon your sexual preference). In my opinion, it’s important for both sides to benefit from the day. Can someone skinny make you happy on Valentine’s Day? Of course they can. But I was always taught to “Go Big or Go Home!”